Harold and Kumar: Escape from Gauntanamo (Blu-Ray)

Harold and Kumar: Escape from Gauntanamo (Blu-Ray)



People who read my reviews may be forgiven for thinking that many of them are too glowing and positive. And you'd be right. I tend not to view films that I think will be shit because nowadays the cost of a cinema ticket or DVD rental is too much to spend on mind-numbing drivel. But, this weekend I let my girlfriend pick the film...

If you've seen the original Harold and Kumar you'll understand the relationship between the two student characters. Harold is a Korean medical student who likes everything to be in order, his room, his studies and his life. Kumar, conversely, is the opposite. He likes to be chaotic and spontaneous. And there you have the very basic clichéd odd couple relationship.

Harold fell in love in the last film, but his girl fled to Holland for a previous engagement. In a romantic gesture, Harold wants to visit her there and takes his dope fanatic friend Kumar along for the ride. Being of the ethnic persuasion, it's not long before the other passengers are eyeing them with suspicion. Kumar, having implausibly sneaked dope and a bong on-board, cements their fears when the bong looks like and sounds like a bomb.

Quickly, they are flung in Gauntanamo bay prison as terrorists by an outwardly racist Fed. There, they are just about to be force fed a cock sandwich when a turn of events gives them the chance to escape.

They flee to Miami where they meet a friend, who conveniently gives them clothes and a sports car. As you do. They start a road trip to Texas, where they hope to get help from Kumar's ex-girlfriend and her new Politician fiancé.

I'm gong to stop telling you what this film is about now and fly into a bloody rage. So if you're easily offended, just skip straight to the rating below.

I feel physically sick that this cinematic atrocity was allowed to exist. There are literally only - count them with me - two funny jokes in this entire film. With an almost two hour running time that leaves you with a pretty thin gag rate. The humour, if you can call it that, is the most base and puerile filth you'll ever likely witness. In one imaginative dream sequence Kumar has a threesome with his ex-Girlfriend and a six-foot bag of dope. That's light hearted enough, I hear you murmur? Well, not if the bag of dope has a vagina and the Ex-girlfriend starts to fist it!!

In an attempt to tackle weighty issues such as prejudices, they try to turn societies preconceptions on their head. The red neck's who are computer literate, perhaps? Or the black man who happens to be an orthodontist? The Jews who aren't only interested in money? It stinks of complete and utter ignorance. Whilst trying to show up other people's ignorance, they've only served to highlight their own.

The one thing they've got right is their target audience. They've set out to impress fifteen year-old neds who've dropped out of school to sniff glue and watch anything with colours in it. Oh, I know what'd please them, lets have two girls kissing each other with their boobs out. Let's have a woman with enormous boobs. Let's have a party filled with women all with their vaginas on show. It's aimed squarely at the lowest common denominator.

Oh, and one more thing. What is the fuckin' fascination with Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Hoswer MD)? He's a second rate actor nobody cares about but, they display him in this movie like he was the second coming of Christ.

How does the Blu-Ray affect it? Well, you know the saying about a polished Turd still being a Turd?

So, to sum it up simply. Don't let your girlfriend pick your films.

Verdict -1/10
Grrrrr. Fuckin' hate it.