300

300



Some muppet in Hollywood land thought it was OK to spoof Zack Snyder's adaptation of Frank Miller's epic graphic novel, 300. They came up with the abysmal Meet the Spartans.

First off, I'd like to grab young Aaron Seltzer and Jason Freidberg by the throats and throw them around for a good half hour, but then I'd give them some words of advice. If you're going to spoof a film make sure it's a stupid film that nobody likes and then – and this is quite important – try to make it funny, eh?

The inspiration for their movie blasphemy was, of course, 300. Originally a graphic novel, it was based on true historic fact, embellished with a little fantasy to bring it back into public consciousness.

The Spartans are a community of Greeks, who are less interested in fathering philosophers and scholars and more concerned with fathering perfect killing machines. From Birth the Spartans are raised to be true warriors, learning to kill or be killed. It's like a crèche ran by John Rambo.

The story centres on King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) who as he grows proves to be tougher than any other and is thus elected King.

When Persian hordes threaten his land, Leonidas is ready for battle. But it seems the theologians and the politicians are against him. The mystic oracle speaks of the destruction of Sparta and the sneaky politician Theron (Dominic West) seeks diplomacy.

Without the backing of his people, Leonidas takes 300 of his best soldiers and meets the hundreds of thousands of Persians head on.

Choosing to fight them at Thermopylae (Hot gates), the Persian army will have to funnel through a narrow passage, forcing a more balanced fight.

Vastly outnumbered, victory seems unlikely, but still Leonidas stands as Xerxes, self proclaimed god-king of Persia throws everything he has at him and his men.

The film is rendered to match the illustrations in the Graphic Novel, much the same as Sin City, so it has an animated fantasy feel to it. With weird creatures and mutated humans, it has more in common with Lord of the Rings than historic fact.

The action in this film is second to none. Even after repeat viewings the gravelly one liners from Gerard Butler's Scottish voiced King still make the hairs stand up on your neck. “This is madness? This is Sparta”.

Zack Snyder has proven himself worthy and has now also adapted Alan Moore's Watchmen to the screen. I'd go see it quickly if I were you, before Aaron and Jason release 'Meet Rorscach'.

Verdict 10/10
a worthy addition of any comic book geek's collection.