The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still



I could take this opportunity to bemoan Hollywood’s preoccupation with remaking the classics. I could mourn the dearth of imagination that goes in to adapting existing movies for a new generation of film fans. I could even use my time atop this soapbox to scream in venomous anger at the number crunching arseholes that pull the strings to bring us ratings friendly, morally shallow slices of vapid horseshit for the purpose of lining their own wallets.
But, I won’t.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2009) follows a similar path to The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)… An alien called Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) comes to earth with his robot protector Gort. His mission is to save our planet from the destruction wrought on it by the human race. In the original, he simply warns us off but in this update he’s willing to eradicate our species to succeed.

Landing in Manhattan in a swirling globe of gas, Klaatu receives a typical human welcome by being shot on sight. Whisked away to a military hospital, he is first questioned by Scientists including Helen Benson(Jennifer Connolly) then by the Department of Defence(Represented by Kathy Bates). Once Klaatu is deemed a threat by the Government,Helen helps him escape. Whilst on the run with her step-son Jacob (Jaden Smith) in tow, she tries to convince Klaatu to spare humanity.

Meanwhile, a few more gaseous globes have appeared to secure samples of all the earth’s other less destructive species’. This is the biggest indicator to the government that Klaatu’s intentions are less than auspicious, so they promptly steal the robot Gort and bomb the shit out of Klaatu’s ship.

Consequently, Gort morphs into a swarm of omnivorous flies that start to eat everything in their path including people, trucks and football stadiums. The whole plot hurtles out of control and beyond the realms of suspended disbelief. And still no evidence of the Earth standing still (that finally appears at the end, a sort of token gesture or in-joke).

With a big budget movie like this, good storytelling often makes way for amazing effects. Unfortunately, they’re substandard too. Watch out for three examples of CGI aircraft with almost cartoon like features. Where they could have had a lot of fun with the design of the ship, they opted instead for a big ball of steam. They could also have made Gort more intimidating and dynamic, but simply settled for a lumbering animation of the original.

The acting, though, makes the effects look stunning by comparison. Keanu is always destined to disappoint the more dialogue he’s given to speak. Watch him ‘chew up the scenery’ as he tries to appear both noble and intelligent (not qualities instantly associated with Ted Theodore Logan). He’s beaten though by Jaden Smith, whose character is one of the most grating you’re ever likely to witness. His sole purpose in the film seems to be getting in everyone’s way and spouting occasional republican rhetoric at the visiting alien.

There’s a million reasons not to go see this film and I can’t think of one to support it.

Verdict; 2/10
The Hollywood machine keeps on turning.