Universal Soldier

Universal Soldier



What’s better than watching an action hero kicking the shit out of the bad guys? I’ll tell you…Watching two action heroes kicking the shit out of each other. There have been many attempts at Action star team ups like Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee, Sylvester Stallone vs. Mr. T and Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Danny DeVito. But none have the impact of Universal Soldier.

Van Damme the semi-literate Mussels from Brussels vs. Dolph Lungdren the surprisingly intelligent (he’s got a Masters degree in Chemical Engineering) Swedish Blondie Bloke. A superstar team up made in 1980’s action heaven.

Lungdren plays Sergeant Scott, who loses the plot in Vietnam and starts to kill his own men. After removing their ears and making a necklace from them, he turns his gun on some innocent Vietnamese civilians.
Private Luke (Van Damme) attempts to stop his homicidal rampage, but gets killed in the process. Not before he riddles Scott with bullets.

A group of shady military types collect their dead bodies and pack them in ice. Fast forward 25 years and Luke and Scott are looking astoundingly healthy for dead blokes. It turns out that they’ve been reanimated as part of a new military super-soldier initiative. Their brains have been wiped and their bodies are almost indestructible. (Well, they can’t die again).

After taking care of business by disposing of some extremely hostile terrorists, Luke starts to have flashbacks to the Vietnam War. Before long, both his and Scott’s memory comes back and they quickly return to being adversaries.
Luke goes on the run with a disposable Reporter character, pursued by Scott and the rest of the quickly disposed Universal Soldiers.

The acting is ridiculous. The special effects are sub-standard. The plot is formulaic and far-fetched. But, none of that stops it from being one of the most enjoyable action flicks of the last thirty years. Van Damme is offered ample ‘leg’ room to swing his trademark roundhouse kicks. Lungdren spouts cast iron one-liners ‘I’m all ears.” It’s just great. Pure and simple.

When I’d finished watching the film, I had a quick scan of the DVD extras and found an alternate ending which must be seen to be believed. It shits on the entire movie and you can see why they changed it, but somehow fits better than the finished print.

Verdict 10/10
High kicks, loud explosions and plenty of steroids. What more could you ask?